catatan akhir tahun

Somebody said that, well..., quite a number of people said that our happiness lies in our own hands. If we decide to be happy, then we will be. If we allow someone else to ruin our lives and give them a chance to make us feel sorry and sad... then it will happen. The practice is not simple at all though ! It's not a good feeling to have a hole in your heart and a thousands of elephants in your stomach.... And when you're thinking that there is something broken that you just can not restore... it just... feel so bitter... Boy, sometimes I wonder am I the only spoiled person in this world, who always hoping to grab somebody's hand to move on???

Then I am thinking, there are so many thing in this world that are uncertain. And if I get worry about each of them, I will go crazy! I miss the times when I just trust that He already arranges the best for us. I miss the times when I have faith that He will never leave us. Like one of my friend said "God didn't bring me this far to leave me now." When you're feeling that you are in a big hole, it is hard to see that maybe the hole is shallow and you just can stand up and get out. Or maybe some people just love to wallow in their own misery.

Well, I've learned that sometimes when you already try your best and things just won't change, better give up to Him. It may sound like running away from problems, but now... I think as human who has limitation, we just can not carry all the world in our shoulder. But using His strength, I believe, I can continue my life.

My mom is a great teacher for this. I wish I can be like her in dealing with life. My problems are nothing but I've lost in my jungle of despair.

*inspired by a short-but-meaningfull-life-story from one of my senior*